Divorce Guide (ARC™)

Visit eLoveAgain ARC

Our team of therapists and mediators at eloveagain.com designed a process, the ARC™ where you can safely and effectively channel your emotions, discover problem solving techniques and learn ways to process information in a healthy and productive way.

The ARC™ has five stages of healing: i) Acknowledge, ii) Express, iii) Analyze, iv) Self-Care and v) Move Forward. As you maneuver through these stages you will gain insight and self-awareness informed in part by your previous relationship and at the end of the process discover yourself happier and better than ever!

Acknowledge
In the ARC™, the first step towards healing is acknowledging your loss. Our team of family therapists understand the primary importance of acknowledging your feelings and accepting your pain resulting from the ending of a relationship. Use eloveagain.com’s Commitment Paragraph feature, as you acknowledge that no matter whom you have a relationship with you are continually having a relationship with yourself. Treat yourself with compassion, kindness and respect, as you move through this stage of the ARC™ and discover tools designed to help you acknowledge your feelings, such as eloveagain.com’s My Story feature. In My Story you discover healthy coping mechanisms by telling your story and releasing the negative emotions built up in your mind and heart. You can also record your progress as you begin your journey towards healing by using eloveagain.com’s online Journal feature, allowing you to document your thoughts, feelings and actions day to day. As your work through the Acknowledge stage of relationship recovery you will begin to heal from your relationship ending and work towards creating a new beginning.

Express
Now that you have worked on acknowledging your feelings, it is important to take the next step of the ARC™. It is time to work on expressing your feelings. Our team of therapists have designed the express stage to assist you in letting out all of your feelings; the loss, sadness, grief, anger, and other emotions that are natural in the healing process. Use eloveagain.com’s Express Yourself feature to write and store a letter to your ex (that will not be sent) which can help you express all of the feelings you may not be able to share with anyone. Our therapists recognize the concept of “body memory,” where your negative emotions and pain stay within the body, often manifesting as disease and why it is critical to purge yourself of negative emotions and convert this energy to positive output.

Analyze
The analyze stage of your healing is one of the most pivotal steps in the ARC™. It is in the analyze stage that you examine the challenges and triumphs from your previous relationship, informing you about what you need in the future. You may also gain insight about what you want to change about yourself and work towards accomplishing the goal of self-improvement. At this stage of the ARC™ you may discover aspects of yourself that are impeding your ability to find a healthy relationship. Use eloveagain.com’s Testimonial feature to write a testimonial from the perspective of your ex. This will help engender empathy for your former partner and can lead to better understanding of his/her perspective which in turn may distill your anger and make you more self-aware. Use eloveagain.com’s Personal Script feature to analyze messages you received about who you are from others including deeply rooted messages from childhood. Being aware of these messages is a critical step in the healing process allowing you to examine how you may have internalized these messages affecting your behavior and choices in partners.

Self Care
The self care stage of the ARC™ is very important. You have suffered in the relationship breakdown process and have now dedicated your time and effort acknowledging your loss, expressing your feelings and analyzing what led you to the relationship and why it ended. Now is the time for you to nurture yourself, build yourself up and feel good about who you are and what you have to give to others. Use eloveagain.com’s Positive Mantra feature to self-validate and gain self-confidence by reprogramming the negative criticisms you experienced in the relationship. Verbalizing positive messages can be a self-fulfilling prophecy creating positive realities the same way verbalizing negative messages can create negative realities. Our therapists recognize the cognitive behavioral perspective suggesting thoughts create beliefs which, in turn, create reality. Use eloveagain.com’s Self-Nurture feature to find new ways to nurture and comfort yourself—you deserve it! You can also use eloveagain.com’s Seasons of Loss feature to deal with past associations linked to anniversaries, birthdays and other relationship markers.

Move Forward
You are reaching the final stage of the ARC™ - Congratulations! By now you have experienced the challenging and painful process of personal relationship discovery and you are ready to move forward with your life. This may be a delicate and bittersweet time for you, as you are in the process of letting go of past ties with a combination of fear and anxiety of getting back in the dating game mixed with some level of excitement about what the future holds. Use eloveagain.com’s Letting Go Ritual to help you in the process of symbolically discharging yourself from the past and unlocking the emotional chains that shackled you down for so long. Try eloveagain.com’s Forgiveness Letter feature to document your sense of peace you have finally achieved by letting go.

In order to take concrete steps to move forward eLoveAgain.com designed our Goals feature to help you mark new goals you may wish to achieve with specific timelines. Having now discovered what does not work for you in a relationship use eloveagain.com’s Ideal Love List feature to compile all of the qualities you are looking for and need in a partner. Now that you have increased your awareness, expressed out negative emotions, analyzed your challenges, and cared for yourself you are ready to move forward so that you can love again with dignity and strength. Good luck!

Visit eLoveAgain ARC